The Importance of Forgiveness: Learn The Truth About Forgiveness and How The Power of Forgiveness Can Change Your Life
The Scoop On True Forgiveness
“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” James 5:16, Holy Bible. Forgiveness is a virtue of most religious faiths, but could there be more to the importance of forgiveness than we realize? According to Dr. Norman Walker D.Sc and one of the pioneers of the modern natural health movement, “the state of mind is of vital importance in the condition of every person.“1
We are all faced with the decision of whether or not to forgive on a daily basis and we all need to be forgiven often. Whether it’s our spouse or a co-worker, a neighbor or a sibling, people hurt us. We are faced with a decision of whether to be angry and stay angry or to forgive by having compassion and love for the offender. It is up to us and only us. The action of the other person has nothing to do with our decision. What is done is done and it is up to us to decide how we will react whether the offender seeks forgiveness or not.
If we choose anger and resentment, this will negatively affect both our psychological health as well as our physical health. In a recent study conducted on terminally ill, elderly, cancer patients, it was found that in all cases, those who experienced the power of forgiveness therapy for four weeks had a greater sense of well being than the control group, J Palliat Care. 2009 Spring;25(1):51-60.
In another study, the relationship between the physiological and psychological affects of forgiveness on patients with coronary artery disease was examined. “Higher levels of forgiveness were associated with lower levels of anxiety, depression and perceived stress as well as lower total cholesterol to HDL and LDL to HDL ratios.” The study also suggest the possibility that forgiveness may result in a reduced occurrence of future cardiovascular episodes, Int J Behav Med. 2009 Feb 20.
The act of forgiving can also reduce chronic pain and lower blood pressure. The importance of forgiveness is obvious from a physiological point of view. According to scientists involved with the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, forgiveness outcome studies always show that forgiveness is helpful by reducing stress, anger, depression and increasing optimism, hope and compassion. Because forgiveness reduces stress, the negative affects of stress will diminish, which has long been known to improve health.
The question then becomes, how does one forgive? Often times, it is our own perception of the situation and how we perceive life that prevents us from forgiving. We can either choose to hold on to anger and resentment or to see the situation with compassion and love. When someone trespasses against us, we have a choice to feel compassion on them for all that they must be going through or have experienced in life in order to get to the point that are acting in such a hurtful way or we can just stay angry. It is our choice.
Forgiving a person does not mean that we decide that what they did was not so bad after all. They may have hurt you badly. Forgiveness is more about the act of letting go of your anger and resentment. Lack of forgiveness can result in the feelings of resentment multiplying until it negatively affects all parts of your life. The power of forgiveness will always positively affect all aspects of our lives.
If necessary we can receive stress management counseling for feelings of resentment that we cannot seem to get rid of.
We can change the way we are telling the story to ourselves.
We can ask ourselves if we are seeing ourselves as the center of the universe, meaning that we feel that others owe it to us to act as we want them to act and do as we want them to do.
We can begin to choose to be part of the solution rather than adding to the problem.
It is important to acknowledge to ourselves that what the other person did was not right. Acknowledge the hurt that you feel. Pray and ask God to give you the strength to forgive as He forgives, unconditionally and even though we are not deserving. Think of the times you have been forgiven and how it freed you. You give this same gift to yourself and to the offender. If you do not forgive, then the situation will take control over you. You may suffer more than the offender. Let it go. If letting go seem like a bigger project than you are ready to take on, then get some help. Allow it to come out and get rid of it. You will be free.
