How to help your friend who has NPD
Maintaining friendships are not always easy, so when your friend has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) it makes the task even harder. You need to have much empathy and compassion to help your friend.
1) You need to identify their needs and then address them. Remember actions that may appear spiteful and malevolent are actually your friend’s way of trying to cope with what is happening around them. Narcissists feel bad but they do not know how to do things differently.
2) When you perceive your friend’s behavior as benign, it will also make you less angry and thus more able to help them problem solve in different situations that they encounter.
3) Be as neutral as you can to help your friend.
4) Treat your friend as a person who needs help learning social skills. They do not know how to deal with people; their low self-esteem makes them appear insensitive and unsympathetic as friends, often putting down others so they can appear superior. When experiencing a loss, in their eyes the world is always at fault.
5) Give your friend feedback by focusing on your feelings only. It will help them focus too. For instance, when you are having an argument, don't focus on “who’s at fault" instead say “I feel perhaps I am not able to communicate properly right now, I need a brief break to gather my thoughts and cool down. I will be back and we can calmly discuss this".
6) If there are support groups nearby, you can help your friend by encouraging them to join and perhaps you can accompany them too.