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Why do People with Adult ADHD Avoid Loved Ones?

written by: Storywriter • edited by: Paul Arnold • updated: 8/25/2010

Adults with ADHD react to their world without always thinking first. We need medications that have side effects, we get depressed, and we avoid sexual encounters with the ones that we love. It is easier to be by ourselves instead of confronting our problems. People with adult ADHD avoid loved ones

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    Avoiding Loved Ones

    Suddenly it seems that half of the world has ADD or ADHD. Is it that everyone who has a bad attention span is suddenly diagnosed with this disease or is it a convenient truth to blame everything on ADHD?

    The truth is that at the right time and place, most of us have a lack of attention. You never know when somebody will come up to you and you shout back at him or her without thinking. ADHD adults who are diagnosed and who truly have this disease, have problems communicating correctly with others. Adults with ADHD have many relationship and sexual problems, too. So, why do people with adult ADHD avoid loved ones?

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    We Don’t Like Medications

    According to http://www.livestrong.com, ADHD adults do not like to take medication because as an adult we do not want to feel that we are not in control of our faculties and we do not like the negative side effects. The truth is, we don’t and if we are not going to take the needed medications, we do not want to be around people who love us. Without the medication, ADHD adults feel that they will say or do something negative around the loved one and will either alienate the loved one or force the loved one to leave him or her.

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    Depression goes Hand in Hand with ADHD

    Why would any loved one want to be around someone who is depressed so much of the time? More than half of ADHD adults have the signs of depression like hopelessness, worthlessness, and eating disorders. The ADHD adult does not want to afflict the loved ones with these issues. When the depression gets drastic, signs of suicide are prevalent and the loved ones who are advised by the ADHD adult to “stay away" should contact 911 or a psychiatrist immediately.

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    Changes in Appearance

    ADHD adults avoid loved ones because they are well aware of their physical issues. Many ADHD adults decide to leave jobs because they are bored. They mope around the house and don’t care about their appearance. Their clothes may be worn over and over again and start to smell. Their hair and other issues may not be taken care of. Again, just because of this lack of hygiene, they still know what they are doing and they do not want the loved ones to see them like this.

    Eating disorders are apparent with the depression and their appearance could change drastically in a short period of time. If a loved one does not see the ADHD adult for a month or two, he or she may well be in shock at the first sight of the ADHD adult.

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    SEX and the ADHD Adult

    ADHD adults are self-gratifying and they have to use critical thinking skills to put the sexual partner first. This is not easy, so to the partner this can seem extremely selfish and many loved ones do not feel that they are getting the experience that they want in the bedroom. ADHD adults want to be loved and want to love others but it takes much work on their part. Sexual partners need to be patient and understanding. ADHD adults need strategies on how to act as a sexual being. That task can be quite daunting to them.

    Please, do not give up on the ADHD adult. We don’t want to be alone and we do want our loved ones around. The ADHD adult needs patience, understanding, and help or we will build up artificial walls around us.